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In today’s ever-evolving workplace, the ability to withstand stress and bounce back from challenges is essential. At Medley, our coaches work with leaders facing increasingly complex and demanding environments, where resilience is key. One of the most powerful sources of resilience we focus on is relational sources of resilience — the strength and support we derive from others, which can bolster our ability to adapt, grow, and ultimately thrive in the face of adversity.
Resilience is the ability to "bounce back," or keep moving forward, in times of stress, change, or adversity. But a common misconception is that resilience is a solitary endeavor — an inherent, internal trait that you either have or don't have. However, at Medley, we believe that resilience is not just individual — it's networked and relational. When we encounter challenges, it’s often our connections with others — be it family, friends, colleagues, or mentors — that help us regain our footing.
Harvard Business Review defines 8 relational sources of resilience:
Work surge: Connections that help us shift work or manage surges
Empathy: Connections that provide empathic support so that we can release negative emotions
Politics: Connections that help us make sense of the people or politics of a situation
Pushback: Connections that help us find the confidence to push back and self-advocate
Humor: Connections that help us to laugh at ourselves or the situation
Vision: Connections that help us see a path forward
Perspective: Connections that help us to maintain perspective when setbacks happen
Purpose: Connections that remind us of the purpose or meaning in our work
Our Co-Founder, Edith Cooper, recently sat down with a panel of three coaches in the Medley network, to discuss resilience, and coach Karen Palmer agreed that resilience comes not just from within, but from those around us:
"While resilience has been traditionally viewed as an individual trait, research increasingly shows that one of the most important factors in being resilient is an ability to lean in to relationships that you value and trust at times of high stress. We draw strength from those around us, who help us make sense of things."
It’s also perfectly okay if not every relational source of resilience is consistently strong, as not all of them are equally important to everyone. Resilience is dynamic and evolving, meaning that we can lean on different people or groups at different times. This flexibility makes it a unique and powerful tool that strengthens us as we navigate life’s complexities.
Resilience is crucial not just for individual well-being but also for our productivity and ability to engage with others. At our core, we are social beings. Our well-being depends on the quality of our relationships, and studies show that strong social connections reduce stress and boost mental health.
In a professional context, resilience is vital for maintaining productivity, focus, and strong teams, especially when we face challenges. As coach Derek Mulhern explains, building relationships that support your resilience help you show up better as a leader:
"I often advise my clients to create a "personal board of directors" — a group of people you trust to give perspective and feedback, and who can see you as a full human, not just a leader in an organization. When you have that community, you can show up as a more even and composed leader."
Being resilient not only helps you show up as a more composed leader, but also allows you to better support your teams. We can't help others until we've taken care of ourselves, so when difficult times arise for our teams, it's important to model your own resilience and support others in building theirs.
Even when we know the importance of resilience, certain blockers tend to get in the way of building it up:
Isolation: When work or personal demands are high, we may unconsciously isolate ourselves, reducing our access to support when we need it most.
Fear of vulnerability: Many of us hesitate to reach out, thinking we should “handle” things independently. But true resilience often involves opening up and allowing others to support us.
Lack of trust: In order to build resilience that lets us fully thrive, we need to feel that we can rely on others. If trust within our network is low, we may not feel comfortable seeking support.
Addressing these blockers requires intention, especially in today’s fast-paced and digital-first work environments. So, how exactly can we overcome them and build resilience?
As we've alluded to already, resilience is a skill we can nurture, and even small efforts can have a significant impact. Here are some practical strategies to get started:
Invest in relationships before you need them: Make a habit of checking in with friends, colleagues, and mentors, even when things are going well. A simple text or coffee catch-up can go a long way in building connections that will support you in challenging times. Derek emphasized this point in his conversation with Edith, saying:
"The key is not waiting until you need resilience to build your networks and communities."
Practice vulnerability: Don’t be afraid to share your struggles with those you trust. When we open up, we allow others to empathize with us, which strengthens our connections. And you'll likely find that you're not alone in the challenges you're facing. As coach Morgan Mermagen described:
"One of the things that I hear from clients in the group coaching environment is that they're so relieved to hear that there are other people with similar challenges. The opportunity to share experiences is more powerful than I think most people realize."
Be proactive about offering support: Resilience isn’t just about receiving help but also about giving it. Make a point of being there for others, whether that means helping a colleague or simply listening to a friend. The act of supporting others can build mutual trust and a stronger sense of community.
Reflect on and reinforce your network: Take stock of your support network and identify who you can lean on for different relational sources of resilience. Reinforce these connections by expressing gratitude and acknowledging the support they’ve provided. And if you feel as though a source of resilience is weaker than you'd like, seek out those who can strengthen it. Karen highlighted this point:
Sometimes you might need a connection that helps you make sense of what's going on. Another time, you might need somebody who's good at listening. Other times, you need somebody who's going to help you laugh and just release the tension. We don't get all of those things in one place, so this is why it's important to have a network of people that you trust. If your network is tiny, you can't always get what you need when you need it.
Use digital tools thoughtfully: In today’s world, many of our connections are digital. Use virtual check-ins, messages, or even online communities to stay connected with others, but balance this with in-person interactions whenever possible. Digital tools should enhance, not replace, our personal connections.
Building resilience is a journey, one that requires consistent effort but can yield profound rewards. Here at Medley, resilience is central to our group coaching approach, as we know how vital it is for leaders to stay adaptable, motivated, and supported. By fostering stronger connections, or 'medleys', we can all create a web of resilience that helps us and those around us thrive.
Resilience isn’t just about getting by — it’s about building a foundation that supports growth, adaptability, and personal and professional fulfillment. By intentionally cultivating meaningful relationships, we empower ourselves to face challenges with the strength of a supportive community behind us.
